Sunday, 3 June 2012

The Law of Attraction, The Law of Allowing

Lately I have been reading a lot about the law of attraction and other laws related to it, such as the law of allowing. Two good websites for reading and doing courses are and

 If we are being honest, most of us can think back to experiences when our thoughts and mindset acted like a magnet for the same things we were radiating. If we have low self-esteem, we tend to attract people who put us down. If we think something is difficult, we tend to make it difficult for ourselves. I see this all the time when I am teaching languages. Students who often know very little but are willing to throw themselves into the experience will soon discover that they are able to communicate, while other students who have far greater knowledge of grammar and vocabulary will cower in a corner and be terrified to open their mouths in case they make a mistake. So they never learn how to listen and how to speak well. They rob themselves of success.

Abundance is certainly not about never making mistakes. If you take a good, long look at some of your heroes and heroines of success, you will see that they made some thumping mistakes in their time. In fact abundant mistakes can lead to abundant success. Conversely, other people can get locked into a downward spiral of errors, as their self-esteem plummets with each new mistake and they start to attract what they expect. So what´s the difference between the two? The difference is that the successful person expects mistakes to be part of the process. The successful person embraces the mistakes that go with the process, while the unsuccessful person cringes at the very thought of failure and eventually gives up the attempt.

Success, then, is not about the presence or absence of mistakes. It´s not even about winning or losing. It´s about cultivating a positive relationship to our experience.
Abundance is not about absolute numbers, such as 7 figures in your bank account. I have rubbed shoulders with some rich and powerful people in my time and I can promise you that wealthy people can live in terrible deprivation and unhappiness. It´s all in the relationship. To us, someone may seem rich and powerful beyond our wildest dreams, but to themselves they may seem like losers and failures. The lack isn´t in the bank account. It´s in the mind and heart of the person. If you think of yourself as deprived, you will live deprivation. If you think of yourself as wanting for nothing, you are well on the way to wanting for nothing.

This aspect of the law of abundance is what a lot of people don´t get. They are in a mind-set of want, so want is what they experience on the conscious level and the physical plane. They think they are failing to manifest what they want, when what they are actually manifesting is the state of wanting. The unconscious mind is very literal.

Let me tell you something that happened to me. A few years ago I had a really successful job in middle management and was on a very high salary for my profession. I didn´t live the high life, and yet I always seemed to be living from paycheck to paycheck. I had a permanent overdraft and a groaning credit card bill every month. I couldn´t understand what the problem was. As far as I was concerned, I was being ´sensible´with money and living quite frugally. I now believe that I was thinking of myself as deprived for reasons that had nothing to do with money, and so I manifested that reality in my material conditions.

Then something unexpected happened. I fell ill and had to take long-term medical leave. I didn´t work for a whole year. The well-paid job went, a huge hole was carved in my savings, the flat in the big city went, and I found myself living in a fourth-floor walk-up. But suddenly I found my contentment. Instead of thinking about what I didn´t have, I started feeling grateful to be alive and waking up to each new day. I didn´t have a big salary any more, but somehow, miraculously, although my income seemed too small to survive on, I actually managed to pay off my overdraft and credit card bills. By losing the mindset of deprivation and want, I found that I stopped wanting on the physical plane. I found that I have everything that I need. I have abundance, whatever it may look like from the outside. That part is important.

But there is more. When we are focused on what we lack, on what we think we want, we are also focused on ourselves. We become prisoners of ourselves. By allowing this to happen we deprive ourselves of one of the most powerful mechanisms of an abundant life, which is attracting abundance by giving abundance. By giving freely we free ourselves to receive freely.

This applies to all levels of life, and way beyond the level of material wealth. If we have been emotionally deprived or abused as children, for example, we may go through life permanently scarred, unable to give and receive love, unable to trust. We may spend a lifetime in various kinds of therapy or counselling, which may alleviate the symptoms of our emotional deprivation, but rarely ´cures´ us. And yet such a cure is possible. The only real known ´cure´ for an emotionally deprived childhood is perhaps surprising. It is to give your own children the unconditional love that you never had. This is the real law of attraction and allowing. We don´t just attract what we think about or want. We reap the harvest of what we give. Look around you at the happiest people you know. I bet you every one of them is a cheerful giver. That is the law of abundance.